Punish Him Not!……

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“He’s amazing, he opens doors for me, he actually listens to what I’m saying, he hears what I’m not saying and he sees right threw me. He cares about me, he makes me feel worth it and I don’t have to be what I’m not. He hugs me and suddenly I no longer have any more worries.”

This what she said to a friend over the phone and the friend says “I’m so happy for u, you have been through a lot.”

she’s been told many times that someone would come along that would make her feel appreciated but she had no idea that her past would cause her to unintentionally affect the man that she didn’t want to loose. she didn’t know how to accept the pure affection that he had to offer her. she didn’t know that a man could care so much without wanting anything selfish in return. What planet was he from? And how does she stop pushing him away? Does he understand that her fear of failure in this with him is keeping her from being who she really wants to be? she doesn’t want another failed relationship that she has to recover from.

He proved her wrong IN SO MANY WAYS, he was not a monster waiting to be unleashed, he actually sincerely cared wholeheartedly. He called to check up on her (that was new for her), he wanted to hang out with her even when she got her period (that was weird for her), he didn’t just call her and tell her that he was coming over for sex and to be ready when he got to the door, he actually cared and this scared her. At times she wondered why he was being so nice. He was nice because thats who he is. Now if she can just make her mind believe this she would be perfect.

As she pushed him away, she realized it hurt him. But how could she get him to understand that she never meant to. That it was happening unintentionally. That her past had taught her to expect nothing from no one and to be EXTREMELY INDEPENDENT. That she didn’t know how to accept his affection because she’s never really had it at this measure. That being transparent meant he would see her wounded side and those memories brought pain and tears.  How could she get him to believe in her and be patient and know that she will get better. Disagreements occurred, but the sad part is that even after the disagreement that she still preferred to be in his arms and no one elses. That he was the first thing she thought about in the morning and the last thing she thought about before bed. That he was amazing to her in ways that he will never know. Through him, she believes in love and marriage again….she felt alive in his presence and time didn’t exist when she was with him.

Now her prayer is that he doesn’t walk away. That God captures his heart and whispers to it to not give up on her. That he forgives her for messing up sometimes and comparing him to her ex’s that hurt her. That he always remembers that he is her favorite person. But most importantly that he doesn’t give up on her.

Lesson/Encouragement: Never let pain from the past hinder you from receiving love or affection from another. Its not fair to them and can cause you to loose the one that God has sent for you. Let the foundation between you and a significant other be built on trust, understanding and transparency. However the most important of the three is understanding. Without understanding, one party will always be upset at the other. Practice understanding between the two of you until one day no words have to be said and the other partner just gets it. It is also important to be selfless and stand in the shoes of the other person or the relationship will not survive. Patience is always key.

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