She wonders when it will be her turn. When will it be her turn to be in love without pain. She knows her friends and family were concerned, so she tried to confide in her friends, but regrets it because of the pity that she receives afterward. She lives with the consistent memory of the man that wounded her laughing at her to her face and calling her “fragile”……….so who does she have to run to? Her mom?……..Nope! her mom would worry. In so many ways she just wanted to be left alone at that time and disappear but she has a heart of gold. The only thing that kept her alive was her love for music (Gospel). Gospel music was the only reminder that she was not alone in what she is going through. It allowed her to be able to sleep at night in her bed alone. Or when she cried herself to sleep, it reminds her that the pain won’t last always. That she is entitled to feel her pain and that just because she was hurting that this does not mean that she was “fragile” it just means that she was slowly becoming stronger. It reminds her that she was not a bad person for the silly descions she has made, but that she was a woman that can have many chances at life as long as she finds it in her to fight back and stand tall. That she just needed to tell someone how badly her heart was broken, someone that didn’t make her feel bad for hurting.
What also upsets her was that she no longer believed in marriage. That she could never even imagine what it would be like for a man to actually want to spend the rest of his life with her AND put a ring on her finger. Or that a man would even embarrass himself in public for her to get on his knees to propose to her. Now was she married before? YES! but that previous marriage was in a court and there was no ring involved………Anyway, her confidence was so broken again that she literally just lives from day to day hoping she can just get through the day. But she can’t let anyone know how she feels because its not sexy for a woman to be weak or fragile especially around a man. So she is alone. No-one. And all she can do is wait for God to remember her somehow. Wait for God to perform a miracle. Any type of miracle as long as the pain goes away.
SHE IS NOT FRAGILE, SHE IS STRONG
HER PAIN DOESN’T DEFINE WHO SHE IS
Broken hearts do heal
HAVING AN OUTLET DOES NOT MAKE HER A BAD PERSON or seeking public attention BUT SELF AWARE and a form of healing medicine
SHE IS WORTH IT, always has been and always will be.